What their Sunday School teachers probably said to them when they were kids. Even great people of God (and a few not-so-great ones) were probably a challenge when they were kids.
Their teacher might have said…
- (Abel) Sit closer to your brother. He won’t hurt you.
- (Adam) That’s a wonderful leaf collection. Now put those back on.
- (Cain) OK. maybe you’re not. But don’t you know where your brother is?
- (Daniel) I told you twice before, Danny, get away from the window.
- (David) Put that thing down, Davey, before something flies out and hurts somebody.
- (David, again) Get down off the roof before something bad happens.
- (David, one more time) Pick on kids your own size.
- (Elijah) Apologize to the nice camp counselor for starting the bond fire before he got there.
- (Esther) Yes, Esther, girls can do anything boys can do.
- (Eve) Stop trying to make the other children eat the snacks you brought.
- (Ezekiel) Zeke, you saw a what inside a what?
- (Gideon) Please stop drinking out of the pond.
- (Isaac) Your father would never do that. Tell us what really happened on the weekend camping trip with your daddy?
- (Jacob) Jake, did you trick your brother out of his prize again?
- (James and John) No, Jimmy and Johnny, we cannot call down fire from Heaven to burn up the choir for not letting us use the van.
- (Job) Stop worrying, Jobie. You’re rich and successful. What could possibly go wrong?
- (Jonah) This is camp, Joe. Now let’s be a big boy and get in the boat with the rest of the children.
- (John) Johnny, please stop standing on your chair and warning the class about the coming Apocalypse.
- (John the Baptist) J.B., does your mommy know you eat those?
- (Joseph) You can take your coat off now, Joey. I’m sure your brothers at home must be very proud of you.
- (Joshua) Josh, was that nice? He worked hard building that!
- (Judas) I’m sorry. I don’t know why you don’t have any friends.
- (Moses) OK, Mo, leave the water alone this time and we’ll try baptizing you again.
- (Moses, again) I’m sorry, Mo, but we have to give other children a chance to read the class rules.
- (Naaman) Are you getting a rash?
- (Noah) Isn’t there anything else you can make with popsicle sticks?
- (Paul) Paul, Saul, whatever! Just stop referring to your sister as your “thorn in the flesh.”
- (Peter) Pete, how do you always get so wet?
- (Samson) Sammy, apologize to the other children for pushing over the swing set.
- (Samuel) Now Sam, God doesn’t talk to kids at night when they’re trying to go to sleep.
- (Shadrach) You and your friends can sit down now.
- (Solomon) Very good, Sol. Now give the other children a chance to answer.
- (Thomas) OK, Tommy, look at this. Now do you believe I got wounded in the war?
- (Zaccheaus) Get down from there, Shorty, and give that money back to whoever it belongs to. Roger Fields
(reprint permission)
